Are You Going To Hell?

Finding out is easy! Try the Hell Test.

Comments

[Nate]

I'm a toasty 115, man - nothing to worry about. You know, say a few 'hail marys' and it'll be OK.

[wob]

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun.
--Billy Joel

[wob]

115? Cmon Nate, I expect more out of one of NP's friends! :)

I'm a bastardly 133!

[Sansabelt Savior]

I find the key to increasing the score is to take the thing a few times. Memory is a funny thing. I'm hoping it peaks out pretty soon, before it starts getting too scary for me.

[Nate]

I'd really like to see what c, Andrew, and Jessica get on this test. Would they be honest? Would Nate's middling 115 score begin to look more respectable? Would we all be shocked? Stay tuned...

[meg]

I got a boring, middle-of-the-road 83. Don't tell my FOTF-loving parents though, because they are firmly convinced I'm on the highway to hell.

[Nate]

I only just replayed the thing and noticed that the music was Squirrel Nut Zippers, 'Hell' from the album 'Hot'. What an awesome tune!

This is a place where eternally
Fire is applied to the body
Teeth are extruded and bones are ground
Then baked into cakes which are passed around.

[Non-Prophet]

My score is so high I'm afraid to post it. My Mama reads this blog now!

[Nate]

Lets make a deal then, if your Mom posts hers - you can post yours!

[Non-Prophet]

I'm at least glad others haven't posted their scores. Andrew? RedWolf? Jessica? Sansabelt? C.? Gives me something to hide behind. I'll just say that nobody has offered a number that even comes close to mine yet. Nuff said.

[Jessica]

Golly gee I got a 77 which makes me "normal". That is a first:)

[pete]

"the key to increasing the score is to take the thing a few times"

Yeah, but for me it was an honesty factor, not memory. Also re-interpreting questions like: "Ever try narcotics?" Sure, when I was in the hospitol and given morphine - that's a narcotic, right? The first time I answered "no."
And "Ever pay for sex?" Well, no, not with money...but I could say I've paid emotionally...sort of.

I went from 152 to *cough*180: "a danger to society." OK, but I still think "life with church is too corrupt," for me. I really hope I never sink that low.

[darksandal]

Is 184 bad or good?

[Non-Prophet]

That's really bad.

[Dr. Evil]

189! Is it like the road signs that tell
you how fast you are going, and I try to get
the high score?

[Non-Prophet]

okay, you're making me feel better. I'm clocking in at 168ish.

[Unholy Mecca]

My overall score is a 171, but I would have scored over 100 between last night and this morning.

[Dr. Evil]

Unholy Mecca-
that drunken, heroin fueled threesome with the dog that
got you kicked out of a bar doesn't count

[death]

when my turn to choice between hell and heaven comes, of course i'm gonna chose hell

[The Innoculator]

damn i scored 187...guess I should move out of Manhattan pretty soon... hahaha

[Zen]

103 - like a virgin.

[Melanie Stephan]

Who's going to Hell? I thought that was funny. My thought is that if it happens it will come as a big surprise. Now the reason I came to your site is that an important message has been sent down, just like a News Update. Please read and pass it along. I have a message to tell you about Revelation. The message is from God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost sent in the Spring of 2006. It is about the meaning of First is Last and Last is First as written in Revelation. The message is this: In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die, death. What does this mean? In other words this means Birth is Last and Last is Birth. To understand this don't think from point A to point B. Think of this as a continous circle of life. Birth, Life, Death, Birth. God also said that Judgment will be before Birth in Heaven. AS birth on Earth is painful so will birth in Heaven. It is possible that this message was delivered by one of God's Angels. Yes, God has recently made contact and he sent a messenger. Spread this message along, just like a chain letter. Melanie Stephan

[Melanie Stephan]

So far the response to this message has been mixed. Most have some doubts. Then there are those that had some down right names to call Melanie. You couldn't broad cast their comments on the Radio or Television. Then there was one person that sent two copies of this message to other people. He goes to Heaven. Then there was Nath, I am not going to say what she said to Melanie. She wasn't very nice. She has a surprise coming her way. Again, believe it or not God has made contact. Jesus returned in Spirit to tell you the meaning of First is Last in the Spring of 2006. It is my opinion that if Jesus did return in body these people would crucify him again. Have a happy Eternity, Melanie Stephan

[Non-Prophet]

Hey Melanie, did you take the test that is linked in this story? What kind of a score did you get?

[zen]

Daniel?

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Non-Prophet, I took the test and got a 78 in the normal range. I got a good laugh out of it. I am glad that I didn't score low. I don't want to be in with the Church Ladies. Melanie Stephan

[zen]

MELANIE - I see that you have been posting the same words all over the Blogosphere. And you claim to have a 123 page book that you wrote about the revelations Jesus shared with you in your dreams. In another blog comment you wrote, "He said nothing in the dream. He didn’t say that he was Jesus either. I know it was him because he lead me to a place where his name was written on the ground in real life." You also claim that Jesus told you who really killed JFK, and cite this as one piece of proof that what you share is real.

You frequently write, "In the morning I go to Heaven [or am born]. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die." This may be a revelation to the western religions, but it is a common thread in Eastern Mysticism.

So I'm going to ask - what is your point and purpose? Are you selling this book for a profit? Is it posted online? You have put in a LOT of work posting all over the blogosphere. I'll bite. Daniel got me pumped. What are you trying to say? Surely you don't need 123 pages to say it...

That is if it can be said at all.

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Zen, What made you take so much interest? Everyone else thinks this is just looney! I don't know anything about Eastern Mysticism. I am someone that is outside of the Church and I don't have my nose in the bible daily either. So I don't know much about the bible either. Who is Daniel? The name Daniel was in the Dream. Yes, there is a book but it is not in print or on the market. I don't know what God wants to do with it. It may sit in cold storage for all I know. And that is fine with me. And last to answer your last question, "What is your point or purpose?" That is a good question, I really don't know if I have a point or purpose. I think God has some point or purpose in sending this message. You have to ask God about that question. This is his thing not mine. My thought is that God is telling us that it is coming. Melanie Stephan

[Zen]

Hey Melanie - LOL I doubt the Daniel I speak of has anything to do with your dream. It's a reference to another poster who appeared on this blog sharing his truth. Or should I say ENDLESSLY trying to share his truth over and over and over again. He had some good things to say, no doubt. Many of us picked up on that. But in the way he carried on he seemed to be oblivious to the very thing he was trying to convey. At any rate you can catch up on Daniel's posts here.

Melanie you will find that this blog is loaded with seekers such as you might be. Intelligent, dare I say even wise men and women with open ears and (mostly) open minds. We certainly appreciate good spiritual dialogue. I myself have a deep background in the study of religion, and in particular both Eastern and Western mystical traditions, and most importantly the convergence of the two.

Maybe you are a loon Melanie. But then again maybe we all are. One man's crazy is another's genius. But no one can deny that you had an experience. And for some reason you feel compelled to spend an inordinate amount of time seeking to pass that experience on. Why I do not know, but I can respect that. Your initial message does come off as cryptic, but that does not mean you should be cast aside without second thought.

So I continue the discussion. And if this is not the right forum, perhaps NP will open another thread for us. Perhaps he can open up a thread based on your original comment, and we can see where the discussion leads.

I will start with these questions. Answer them as you wish...

What is it exactly that you experienced? What does "In the morning I am born, In the afternood I live my life, In the evening I die" mean to YOU? For that matter, what is this "God" that you speak of? What is God or god or goddess or Being or cosmic consciousness to you? Did the Jesus that appeared to you accord with the Jesus of the Bible as you know him? As you have been TOLD he is (perhaps by a pastor or priest)? What is your spiritual background?

And finally I must ask -- you want to prove the validity of your dream. Fair enough. But if this is the case why in the world would would you choose as your validating PROOF that you know who killed JFK?! Don't you see that that alone will bring out the calls of crazy?

[Non-Prophet]

I think this is a fine place for this discussion. Or, perhaps the recent open thread located here would work as well.

Welcome Melanie. :0)

[in8sworld]

Luckily there was no 'internet' indexing everything I thought when I was cataloging my own visions and dreams! I opened up an old journal from the late 80s, one of several composition notebooks that NP has seen. Here's one such entry:

I know there's more, deeper, somewhere. But, since I have no answers - I invent them - in the true tradition of humanity. We create our own Gods (and Goddesses) in our own image to represent the ultimate goal of our life's work - that which we would want to be in the end after all we experience: true justice, fairness, goodness - these qualities to which we aspire we give unto our God and in his/her image we will strive toward that utopia, perhaps never arriving, perhaps forgetting along the way why we thought it important in the first place, but always working toward that goal.

Just as infants mock our gestures, copying our facial movements, mimic sounds and actions - we hope that the ideal God will lead us to divinity. We hold up the model and fit our world to it (I don't believe the reverse is true). We want to be shown, told. We want it explained - we need a reason for this existence, something meaningful and good.

All the while, losing the point. We *are* divine already and the joy of it is in that discovery. Our desire for meaning is a fruitless pursuit. There quite obviously isn't any. Life is magic, the proof of it is in every breath. Love one another and no amount of Providence will make you more joyous.

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi, Zen. Morning, Noon, Evening. God is saying my life is one day. But more than a day has past. My friend said one God day equals 1000 years. Now I am ageing just like everyone else so, I think that 1 God day equals 1 event. That is just my thought. I don't want to look like I am 1000. Then when The Holy Ghost says that I die in the evening. That means to me that I go to sleep in the morning when I wake I find myself in Heaven. It will be a surprise. In Heaven God gives me something or I get nothing.

To answer your second question. God is young old. He is a young God. God is just like your Father on Earth. Like your Father, God has a big job, He cares about you, he made you, you are his creation. Jesus is young too, very loving, he loves you more than God does. Jesus is more like a friend. You know how you feel when you first fall in love with someone. He loves you like that. Jesus is not a Pastor or a Priest. After the introduction, I mean everything is nice. It gets harder. When the real messages start, it was freaking hard. Then there was a strange feeling like I felt I was going crazy. There was a very heavy feeling, I had too much energy. The messages came at Gods speed and I had a hard time understanding him at first. At one point I got mad at God. I told him to go take a blank. Then I said I was sorry. Jesus made up too. I was mad at both of them. When I asked people around me to help me understand the messages, they all said I was crazy. Telling people that they are crazy does not help them. Around 6-4-06 Gods messages stopped and and that feeling went away. At that time I could reflect on what he told me and figure out the meaning. No one wanted to help me write anything down. No one wanted to listen to the story. It was a crazy. I don't feel crazy at all now. Suddenly I am the same person I was. I don't tell anyone on the street either I kind of know what they will think. I do stop and talk to people but always about something else. I really do like people. They alway smile or laugh.

[Melanie Stephan]

The experience was very strange. It would be impossible to explain to people what it was like. They would say it was crazy. I thought that too until I met Duane.
Then Jesus said who killed John F. Kennedy. Yes, that does sound nutty. But, does the person that Killed JFK get away with what he did? I watched the video on a website. I felt that something very evil happened that day. I had to leave the site, I felt that something evil was watching me. Now God saw the shooter. Does the killer get away with this on Earth? But then what is God going to do to the cop that killed JFK?. The fact that it was a Cop also explains the pristine bullet. During Kennedy's time Cops were considered trustworthy. During Nixon's reign Cops became Pigs. Today they shoot innocent people and get away with it. I think what God is going to do to this Cop is far worse than the criminal justice system. On Earth the cop gets 10 to 20 years, I mean he has to be old by now. In heaven he gets comfinement or worse for Eternity. That's a freaking long sentence, eternity. It is very possible that the killer could come forward and ask to be forgiven. If so God may not be so hard on him. If he came forward, God might forgive him. Who knows? Then I really don't know why Jesus gave out this information. Then I don't know why he is talking to anyone right now. Your quess is as good as mine. Yes, this all sounds crazy but some days are just like that. Melanie Stephan

[Melanie Stephan]

Yes, posting WHO KILLED JFK? as proof was not the best proof. But it is part of the proof and I put it out there cause it is impossible to put the rest of the proof on the Internet. The rest of the proof is somewhat complex and the people that have seen it just say that it is all coincidental. AS far as I am concerned nothing is coincidental. I think it is a lot of coincidents. Far to many. Then Jesus is the one with all of his other messages that has to talk about JFK and Lincoln. So he had a reason for doing that. Just watch the news, maybe there will be a breaking news story on the case. When it does hit the news, just like you, I will be thinking "Holy F. S.", there it is. Could happen.

Then talking to the people at "Stupid Evil Bastard" was a good lesson in what to expect. They all called me looney, seek help, etc. at least no one called me Stupid, like the name of their site. Most of the people there know everything. Bunch of genius. I was surprised at the number of people that have mean things to say to someone that has had close contact with God. It was a mistake having a conversation with them, but it was a good lesson in what to expect. Then I have been searching the Internet for anyone else that Jesus has talked to. Can't find one person, not even the Pope. Why is that? I mean there are a number of people that will make up and lie about anything and everything. Not even liars lie about God talking to them. Even liars know you could go to hell for that. I find that interesting.

Last of all to answer your last question. Why am spreading the message? Good question? What would you do if God dropped in on you? Would you keep it to yourself or would you just burst? Melanie Stephan

[Melanie Stephan]

Zen, thanks for the link to Daniels rantings. That's was some funny stuff. When he came in saying that the Holy Spirit was in him. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I read some more and got sober. Then Non-Prophet said to go and spread your message elsewhere and then he didn't leave. I started laughing again. Thanks for a good laugh. I enjoyed your writting, excellent. Melanie

[pete]

Then Jesus is the one with all of his other messages that has to talk about JFK and Lincoln.

Both Lincoln and JFK were assassinated for wanting to strip the federal reserve/central bank of its power: Lincoln creating the greenbacks, JFK signing the Executive Order 11110.

So if you think the "cops" are the Morgans, Rothschilds, Warburgs, and Rockefellers of the world, then you might not sound so crazy.

[N. Rellim]

This seems like a blog thread without doctine and dogma to disuade those who like to explore experiences and ideas unfettered by narrowly held viewpoints.

I, for one, would like to hear more of Melanie's experience.

Can anyone think of someone better qualified to speak for God than Melanie? Maybe a pope, prehaps Joel Osteen? ...I think not. I cannot conceive of a supreme being being anything less than a God of the universe to whom we can't be more than beloved children.

Let's listen to what she has to say.

N. Rellim

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Pete, N. Rellim, Zen and Non-Prophet. Looks like Melanie has one freaking believer, N. Rellim. Rellim you are now a Disciple. Your new name is now Nelson Rellim. Go Forth and spread the message about 'First is Last'. I need a break from spreading the message, it is starting to drive me crazy. In the mean time I am going to sit back, put my feet up and take a little break. Just don't start worshipping me or I will have to dump you. Thanks Nelson. Melanie Stephan

[Zen]

Well Melanie... I've read your responses - thank you by the way - but I honestly don't know what to say! We all have our real and true individual experiences, and while we can attempt to share these experiences with others, sometimes no matter what we say, things get lost in translation. Or maybe we just can't say it at all. To paraphrase Dogen... each must experience truth for themselves. Everything else is just fingers pointing at the moon.

I do wish you well on your journey. I would caution you to not hold so tight to this past experience that you miss the beauty of now though. Keep those eyes open to the moment because the dialogue never truly stops.

:0)

[N. Rellim]

Melanie,

I've been asked by a christian named Kavan to ask you why Jesus chose you to leave his message instead of showing it to everyone at the same time?

Thanks, Zen for letting us post.

[Dan & Dawn]

Dan took the test and scored 224 which is "straight to Hell". Dawn scored a little lower, but still very high. Fortunately for us Jesus has forgiven our sins and we are both going straight to Heaven! Don't be deceived by false religions that teach that forgiveness can only come by works, deeds, or "hail Mary's". The bible says that all who confess that Jesus is Lord and that he died on the cross for our sins....will be saved,(Romans Ch 10 vs 9).
One of the biggest lies the world will feed you is that if you serve Jesus Christ, you no longer have fun. We both engaged in almost every sinful behavior you can name, and were only left empty and unfulfilled. Since being born again, we have been completely satisfied and fulfilled in every area of our lives. We have had our sins forgiven, live a guilt free life, and are having far more fun than all the years of drugs, alcohol and sexual promiscuity provided. Those who seek the Truth will find it.
May America bless God, and God bless America. Dan & Dawn, liberalismbreedsterrorism.com

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Rellim, Non-Prophet And Zenn now with 2 n's. To answer Nelson's question above. Why Jesus chose you to leave his message instead of showing it to everyone at the same time? God didn't say, so I can't answer that question. I have a quess though. My guess is he wants you to figure this out for yourself. Even though Melanie has proof, it's back to having Faith again. Then having proof is not a good idea either, there wouldn't be anything left to figure out. All of the mystery would be gone, nothing left to ponder. Mel

[Melanie Stephan]

Then how does God show his message to everyone at the same time? There is a very large Comet that is passing by right now. The only people that can see it are in the Southern Hemisphere. This Comet has gotten very little press yet this Comet is so bright it can be seen during the day. So if Gods message was in the tail of the Comet only the people in the Southern hemisphere would see it. So God would have a problem with everyone seeing it at the same time. OK, back to the think tank. How did Jesus get his message to everyone 2000 years ago? Disciples. How is the progress going Nelson? Melanie

[Zen(n)]

Why 2 n's?

[N. Rellim]

The kind of conversations you get on a blog that starts off with a Hell test can seemingly lead you anywhere. Are Dan and Dawn right? Do we play by New Testament rules only now?

As for you, Melanie...FAITH? Yes, yes, but FAITH in what? FAITH in God and Jesus, FAITH in the validity of your experience, FAITH in the Bible that we know today?

Logically, your references to scripture when you discuss your experience don't seem to make much sense; but, somehow, I'm inclined to believe you had a real experience and that we need to listen. Maybe there's really more than we can know between Heaven and Earth (or between Camillus and Rome).

-Nelson

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Zenn and Nelson. Zenn with 2 n's. You needed a new name too, so I came up with ZENN. That was the best I could think of. Nelson! You found Camillus. Now I didn't know that he was a Roman General so I did some research this morning. There are more Generals here in the Military Tract than I knew about. This is what I found this morning July 25, 1782 survey is made and townships are named. John Dryden could be the man that made up these names (God got in his head). Remember this is a British colony but he had an interest in Roman History. I also found out this morning that one of these Generals captured Jerusalem in 64 BCE. You did great Nelson. Now who captured Jerusalem in 64 BCE? , and you will find the place where Jesus' symbolic resting site is. This is where is name, Jesus is written on the ground. Everyone can see it, it is a real place. Now remember Jesus is surrounded by Three Roman Generals. That is the clue.

This means that God had this planned all the way back starting in 1782, the names of the towns. Also in 1896 is the name of a person that came here, he is also part of the story(God got in this persons head too). I am not going to tell you his name. This is also a small part of the PROOF. God had this all planned way before I was born. Melanie

[Melanie Stephan]

The Dreams. As for the names of the cities, streets and the names of the people here wouldn't have had any Meaning if it wasn't for the dreams. The dreams put it all together. Just like the links in a puzzle. Melanie

[N. Rellim]

According to Wikipedia, Pompey took control of Jerusalem in the time period you spead of.

-Nelson

[Melanie Stephan]

Nelson, you F&ng amaze me. You get 100%. Now Jesus wants his memorial on top of Fraser Hill, lot #8. He wants a cardinal point, no buildings. On Fraser Hill they are building roads for rich homes. The Romans built roads and left coins. The dream took me to Fraser Hill. The road builders left the image of a man made of Asphalt. He is face down and his head is missing. The Romans left dead bodies along the roads. Jesus also showed me the Romans watching from the hill top before they came down into the villiages. Now Lincoln is also on this hill. Civil War. Melanie

[N. Rellim]

Melanie, I've seen enough of your postings to know that there is lot more to this than what you've said here.

I'm sure you know that this is likely to seem imcomprehensible and totally looney to many readers of this post, however.

Only the good graces of Non-Prophet make this possible, but maybe some of the other readers have input too...

-Nelson

PS I could not find Fraser Hill on the Mapquest maps. Which hamlet is it closest to?

[Non-Prophet]

I'm jealous! I want a new name!

[Melanie Stephan]

Non-Prophet, That is funny you want a new name. I was just thinking of that this morning. Yours was the hardest to come up with. To me Non-Prophet also ='s Got any Money? But that is to long, Any Money? Then I like music, and Artists. Non-Prophet = Eddy Money. Non-Prophet, your still the Prophet, and your new name is Edward. Hugs, Melanie

[GReeVee]

I scored 23, and I'm proud of it.

[Melanie Stephan]

Are you ready for some more? What the heck here it is:

2.The next place the Holy Ghost takes me is to the top of Onondaga Hill. It is a calm night,the time is 12 midnight. Last dream is about resurrection and death respectively, it has two parts, Last is First. At the College on top of Onondaga Hill is where this happens. But the crucifixion is at the bottom of the Hill. Syracuse is at the bottom of the Hill.

Meaning of this dream is that, from Jerusalem Jesus is taken to a city in Italy, a Roman City. Jesus is taken to Rome. Crucifixion is entertainment for the Romans. I suspect that others are also taken prisoner with Jesus. Jesus is taken to an Event at the bottom of a hill for entertainment. To people that worship the Moon God, Jesus is a Lunatic. Jesus is taught a lesson by torturing him. These people also have other Gods. Jesus is served up to their Moon God Diana as an offering. The Lamb. Now God sees this. God sees a lot of shit but this is too much for him. God comes in on a violent storm. God comes for his son. Something happens here.

[N. Rellim]

Melanie, I am going to do my best to understand everything you are saying. If you don't mind, I will collect the blogs where you have been trying to communicate your message and organize them in a way that I and perhaps others can understand better. You can then review the material and see if it is accurate or not.

http://firstislast.blogspot.com

See what you think.

- Nelson

PS Thanks for the indulgence, NON-PROPHET (aka Edward)

[N. Rellim]

I wonder why I get a different score every time I re-take the test?

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Nelson, I found your site. I couldn't write on it, need a password. I see you found Pompey, or Jerusalem. 1. Jesus spends his life in Jerusalem. Here is some more:

3. Back to the second dream, this is the life dream. It is noon and Jesus takes me to a grave in Manlius. Look up Marcus Manlius Capitolinus and you will be able to figure out what happens next. In Manlius, Jesus is buried next to his Mother (that is a big clue). It is very grim. Mary gets it too, Tarpeian Rock. Remember this is the Life Dream so Jesus really isn't dead. The resurrection, he gets a new body.

There are 3 more places to go. 6. Nirvana is Last. So far I am the only one to go Nirvana and come back to tell people what it's like.

I am surprized just like you. All of this information is new for me too. Looks like the Roman Catholic Church dicked with the Holy book just like they dick little boys. I hope the Church doesn't find me. Melanie Stephan

[Zen]

I am in nirvana right now.

But I'm not sure I totally realize it.

:0~

[Larry]

According to Wikipedia, Pompey took control of Jerusalem in the time period you spead of.

-Nelson

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Zennn, before you go to Nirvana I am taking to to Gods place. Here it is:

3. (b) After your body is cast over the Tapeian Rock with all of the other thrash, you go to your
Fathers House for a new body. You don’t get your old body back, it has been discarded. Since I
can’t really go to Gods house the next parts are symbolic.

4. (a) Back to the Resurrection and Death Dream, First part of this dream happens Last. First is Last. The next place the Holy Ghost takes me is to ‘Gods House’ or Our Fathers House, it’s evening. Christ is in his Fathers House. This is an Event, the Resurrection. Christ is with his family in Gods House and he has a beautiful new body.

4. (b) Gods house has a door on both ends of the house. Gods house has compartments, you
can’t walk from one end to the other. God has both a right side and a left side in his House. That
means that God has both a strong side and a weak side, respectively. God has a male side and a
female side. God is both Mother and Father. Christ sits on Gods right (strong) side of his house.
(House is symbolic. Meaning - Gods house is also his body.)

[Non-Prophet]

Melanie, could you link us to a picture of yourself? I want to put a face on the name. :0)
- Edward.

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Edward, I don't have a pic. Just think of a beautiful female you know when you see my name, LOL. Now for a serious moment. I was rather sad about this part, in came as a Revelation.
6. Back to the first dream where I am born in Heaven. The first dream is last. First is Last. God goes out to Fabius to turn over his land. He writes his last will and testament. Quintus
Fabius Maximus - is The Delayer. Before the End he gives each of his children their fair share. This is where God judges each child. At Judgment. (A)Your Father gives you something and says that he is sorry that he didn’t do more for you. You forgive your Father, and your Mother judges you and says ‘I gave you life, that is enough’, and gives you nothing. Then it could go the other way. (B)Your Mother gives you something and says ‘Sorry I didn’t do more for you in life’. You forgive your Mother, and your Father says 'I gave you life', and gives you nothing. No one is in Heaven yet. God is Delaying Heaven, He is Cautious.

Since no one is in Heaven there must be a number seven where God dies. That makes me fell bad that God also dies so that his children can live again. I am not worthy. I don’t want God to die for me. Seven could read something like this:

7. God said I am the beginning and the end. God comes to an End. He is served up to a God, God
is the Ram.

Now for the proof the story is true. The story ties right in with Fibonace. This is how God does Fibonace 3, 2, 8, 5, 21, 13. + Gods Life Code 6 - 3 1 5 - 4 2. It starts like this: Father + Mother + Son = 3. I will show an example of this next time. I have to finish 4. and 5. too. I have to do more research and listen to God rant.

[Melanie Stephan]

Now for something not so serious. Just to lighten things up. I made this part up:

0. Back to the top of the page. The beginning. Or the sex test, I mean ‘Are you going to
Hell?’. But it really is the sex test. Or we could go back to the top of Fraser Hill. Here a male and female are having sex in the back seat of a Dodge Ram. Don’t look away, God knows about sex. Newton didn’t invent everything. The Ram has 7 horns. More than two horns is very horny. Seven is very horny. It’s her car so she is riding the Ram. She is getting a serving from the Ram. Life begins again. Now they are in Heaven or Nirvana.

[Melanie Stephan]

This is the last to post, the rest is to long. I didn't write this part. The big guy did.

5. Back to the Life dream, second dream, first object, the register, is last. Saint James sits at the Gates just outside of David’s Kingdom (or shell). Saint James holds a Key in one hand and carries a hidden Spear in the other. James is also both male and female. James parents are Mary and Joseph. Both Mary and Joseph are from the House of David. James female side is just like Mary and Mary is like her father. James male side is like his great Grandmother on Joseph’s fathers side. Saint James is Jesus’ half brother.

Now, a record of your life has been kept, it is sent to Saint James. When you come of age you go to the Gates. James matches your Key with his Key in the ‘Book of records’. James female side sits at the entrance with a hidden spear in her left hand and Keys in her right. She matches your female Key, if it doesn’t match she spears you as you go in. Your halfway in if you match. James male side sits at the exit into David’s Kingdom(shell). He has a hidden spear in his right hand and Keys in his left. He matches your male Key at the exit, if it does not match he spears you at the exit. Speared twice, you have been executed and your carried out. If both match you are soon to be born. Birth will be last in Heaven. (Key is symbolic for DNA, if your
DNA checks out, your in. Any questions???) Melanie

[Satan]

WTF ? i got 0 ??? And I consider my self a evil person ! XD
I don't drink , smoke or take drugs (becous they are harmful) and im stil a vergin however I have the same profili liki Hitler he dindent smoke , drank or hade sex and loke how evil he wos !! Well then I'm going to heven with all thous mas murderurs and pute evil persons XD If you think of it god loves to kill siners and hes in heven I ges killing makes you Holi or something of a saint.

My sins are Greed ans Sloth I would rether butn my money then give one cent to chariti and I would kill a hungri child bofor i ofer him something to eat .
Well the test saze I'm holi so holi like GOD who killd all living things (seriousli whie the animals dd they sin to ?) in the flod.

[Zen]

Wow Satan sucks at spelling. Who woulda thunk.

[Melanie Stephan]

See Satan got into the bible. He can't spell so the bible got messed up. That is what I have been telling you. Melanie

[Melanie Stephan]

I have a funny picture in my head of Satan sitting in the Vatican, the Roman Catholic Church. He is sitting in a room, at a desk. He has the Bible on the table in front of him. In one hand he has a pen in the other he has an eraser.

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Nelson, Zenn, and Edward. Nelson the beloved Disciple, I have written more proof on another site. On EscapedMentalPatient,title 'Melanie the crackpot christain'. Starting with with the date July 20, 2007. Here I have written about Mike Douglas being linked to Merv Griffin. I tell her that Merv is now dying and that there is information to come about his death. Now I don't know what the information is yet either. I am in the dark too. Now Merv Griffins death is linked to Nancy Reagan. Anyway you can Cut, Paste and steal what I have written on this site, you have my permission. While your at it you can take what she wrote too. It's a free Internet. Now I see her as a good atheist. She is an atheist because of all the evil things that Christains do in the name of God. So I am nice to her cause she does have a point. Now she did something good, she opened up a page for Melanie to rant on. She is doing Gods will, God is talking to her too, but she doesn't know it. Anyway I am not trying to convert her, I really do find her intelligent. I am using her just like God is. The proof goes like this: Mike and Merv are linked. Merv dies 1 year, 1 month, 1 day after Mike. Merv is born on the same day as Nancy Reagan July 6. Now the proof is that God has told Melanie in Aug. 2006 that Merv and Mike are linked. Melanie posts on EMP's site on July 20, 2007 a month before Merv dies. Anyway if your interested in more proof check it out. Now since she is an atheist try to reframe from telling her that 'She is going to Hell'. Good atheists go to Heaven too, I think, anyway who the hell knows. Melanie

[N. Rellim]

Melanie, I never dreamed that you would end up using this site for your longest "revelations". Have you been trying to make sense of your experience by reading Gnostic scriptures? The male/female thing sounds like some that I have read. I had already found your dialogue with "Escaped Mental Patient" and agree that an honest atheist might be more likely to ultimately do God's will than someone who hides what they really think behind the safe facade of pretended piety.

By the way, how could God die?

-Nelson

[Non-Prophet]

Woe. To commemorate comment #71 on this little post I took the test again and got a 177. Is that low or high? I haven't been paying a lot of attention over here. :0)

[N. Rellim]

If you keep growing horns, you're bound to feel warmer!

[Zen]

So NP - you went from "168ish" to 177? Ooooh what dirty deed did you add to your collection? Do tell.

[Zen]

There's something to be said about getting lost in the labyrinths of thought, the mazes of the mind. We think we see light at the end of the tunnel - final answers to our greatest questions - but truth be told maybe we're just turning circles around ourselves & going nowhere fast.

Then again the buddhist will tell you that there's never actually been any WHERE to go because you're already HERE. And HERE - this moment - is all there is. And the only true way to escape the mazes of the mind, is to see them for what they actually are - Sometimes fantasies, sometimes nightmares. But always illusions. Dreams.

When you're lost in thought how do you find your self? Stop the mind fuck and see the truth as it is - here now life. There is nothing to figure out. There is only be-ing. Let yourself bask in the glow.

Sometimes Melanie I read your posts & I think, "What in the world is she chasing?" As Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, "God has set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Be-ing. There is nothing to figure OUT. The truth is within.

[Melanie Stephan]

The morning of 8-15 I have a waking dream. In my thinking voice I hear , ‘We each die in
succession, then we are born on the same day’, (in Heaven). Now it get it. [Mike dies on his birthday, Merv dies the day after Mike. Merv and Nancy are born on the same day.] I also hear this in the dream,‘The potted plant on the deck is like the Trinity’. Now I have to look at the effing plant on the deck. This plant has three different plants in it. Large red geranium(2 plants, one small, one large, but it looks like one plant.), small blue Johnny jumpup and one peach colored impatient. I only planted the geranium, the other two plants just showed up on their own, seeds got in there somehow. In the winter I put this plant in the basement so that it will come back in the spring. Now to answer Nelsons question "How can God die?" To the best of my understanding, God is telling me that he also has a life cycle. Part of him is dying. We, his children could be responible for that. Kids have a way of killing their parents with the shit they do. The symbols point to Car polution and wireless devices (cellphones), could be poison in his blood.

[Melanie Stephan]

Now I am someone that studies plants. Wild thorny plants are of greatest interest, berry plants. I only read text books like, Math and Science. I never read the bible or history books until recently. In the past I always considered these books a waste of reading. I only read part of them because of the dreams. I read Revelation and Daniel only. Recently I did some research on the Internet on Roman names so I could understand the dreams. I don't know shit about religion or history. Now the three of you, the three wise men know 99.99% more about what is in scripture than I do.

[Melanie Stephan]

God whispered the dreams in Melanie's ear. God named the towns Pompey, Fabius, Manlius, and Jamesville. He also named a road Gates. God Let Mike Douglas live one more day so that he could die on his birthday. God put Merv on life support so that he would die the day after Mike. God had Nancy Reagan and Merv Griffin born on the same day, they also became friends. Then on Escaped Mental Patient, posted July 20, Melanie says that Mike and Merv are linked before Merv dies.

I think God has given out a lot of proof here. The story is ingenious, God wrote it. I would like to see you create 3 dreams, link it to the towns, streets and people around you. Then also reafirm what you just said with the lives of 3 famous people. Mike, Merv and Nancy. That is alot of proof so far. Then there is even more that Melanie has not posted. Melanie

[Melanie Stephan]

Leona Helmsley (AKA the Queen of Mean) just past away on August 20, 2007. Seems that someone is one step ahead of me. On this persons site they have linked Leona Helmsley and Merv Griffin together. Are Leona Helmsley and Merv Griffin born again ? Now the author of this site doesn’t say whether these two people are born again. He does quote Jesus. Now I think Merv and Nancy are going to heaven, they are both born on the same day July 6. Leona is born on Independence Day, July 4, 2000. I think that is a clue? Leona leaves 12 million to her dog and nothing to her two Grandchildren. Now Leona is not here to take the ‘Are you going to Hell?’ test. Does Leona go to Heaven or does she go to Hell?

[Zen]

Leona is in Winemucca Nevada playing the coin slots at the Jif-N-Lube.

[Melanie Stephan]

That was good Zen, maybe show a little more wrath for Leona. God wants to make an example of her.

[Zen]

Leona has already made an example of herself.

I confess to feeling sorry for her.

[Melanie Stephan]

Come on Zen, be God like and show some wrath. First, Leona doesn't get to go to Satan and Jerry’s big Fare-well bash in Hell with all of the other sinners. (At the last minute the party was moved to Winemucca). These are some of the clues in what God does for Leona: Leona is born on Independence day, Alone=Leona, 11th hour, to late to ‘Say your sorry”, Will, and nightmare.

[Sharmaji]

Scored 29...which isn't cool!

[Sharmaji]

Scored 29...which isn't cool!

[Sharmaji]

Scored 29...which isn't cool!

[Zen]

I don't want to celebrate the misery of others, Melanie. I wish Leona well on her journey.

[Melanie Stephan]

Zen, I think you will get a bigger parcel (or reward) in Heaven than I do.
I suspect from the clues this is what happens. Realizing that she is dying Leona asks God to forgive her for being so mean to people all her life. It is the 11th hour, it’s to late to say your sorry. In death God does absolutely nothing for her. Now alone, and independent, Leona is separated from her family. Even after death Leona’s last mean act was to leave nothing to 2 grandchildren. God does the same for Leona. In Gods Will he gives her nothing, not even a roll of nickels. It’s late evening now, Leona is alone. I suspect no one in Heaven wants to come for her. Since she spent 1.4 million on her mausoleum, she might as well stay there and enjoy it. That’s right she is now “Thinking inside the Box”. The nightmare begins.
Now I am thinking poor Leona, she is all alone. She needs some pets for company. That’s right I come for Leona. I open the box. At first she is glad to see someone. Then she is mad that she
has been left here for weeks. She starts yelling at me. I quickly throw a spider and a fly in with
her and close the door fast. Now she has two pets, spidey and buzzy to keep her company. I thought of putting a snake in with her, but that would be to mean for the snake. Melanie

[Melanie Stephan]

Jerry Falwell: After some research this is what I found on Jerry Falwell - Born: 11th August 1933 - Passed Away: 15th May 2007 Age: 73 years of age - Occupation: Television evangelist
Please note that Jerry and Mike Douglas are born on the same day, Aug. 11. At this point I am no longer surprised at this coincidence.

Where does Jerry go when he dies? God has only given me 3 clues. (1) His date of birth and a comment from another blogger. (2) Falwell means: Fall Well . (3) and sounds like Fare-well. This is how I put the clues together. Jerry does not go to Heaven or Hell. Jerry just vanishes. It is quick and painless. The name Fall Well means that his people had a habit of tripping and falling head first into the Well, hence the name Falwell. Death would have happened within seconds. Then Falwell sounds very much like Farewell. That means final goodbye.

Now I don’t know very much about Jerry. You can do your own research about his life. It is easy to find on the Internet. Just google his name. My guess is that Jerry falls into a third category of people that God does not want in Heaven and then again he does not want them to suffer in Hell either. God also told me to write this morning, so I think I got it right.

So far God has given 3 examples of what happens after death. Putting it all together. Mike, Merv and Nancy go to Heaven. Leona goes to Hell. Jerry just vanishes, is null. The reason why I think God picked 5 famous people is that information is freely available and you and others can do their own research on these people. You can make your own judgment on why these people went to Heaven, Hell or Null. - The End - Melanie

[Non-Prophet]

Malanie,

I've gotten really curious. Could you tell us more about yourself? -Edward!

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Edward, I was wondering where the Hell you were. Yesterday I made up this joke. This morning I mailed in my copyright for this joke. That’s right, you can read it but you can’t steal it (especially you Albert). Hope you enjoy it. This is the joke:

If a bear falls in the woods, does his shit stink?

Copyright @ 2007 All rights reserved Melanie Stephan

[Non-Prophet]

Wondering where I am? Do you realize that there is a whole blog here? Click on the red banner at the very top of the page where it says "just like the smell of fresh baked bread."

I'm here, I have just been busy writing things not related to this post.

-Eddie

[Chris]

Joke = not that funny.

No offense though. =]

[Melanie Stephan]

This is the correct answer to the above joke: Last night I told my friend this joke. Both He and Chris said, It doesn’t make sense. I said, That’s why it’s funny. However Richard Dawkins found this question both interesting and perplexing. He assembled a team of scientists and went out into the woods to sniff out the answer. The members of his team all hold high degrees from prestigious Universities. They spent an exhausting two day in the woods. They concluded that bear shit does not stink because bears
do not exist. Goldy Locks and the three bears is nothing but a fairy tale. It's all a Delusion.

(Copyright © 2007 All rights reserved Melanie Stephan ( No stealing Albert, God knows where you live.))

Note: I am going to look up Richards date of birth to see where he goes when he dies.

[teh stupid!]

it burns!!

[Richard]

Melanie I thought your joke about the bear stunk too. I was recently reading your last book titled, “Melanie and Moses on Mount Sinai, in Conversations with God”. I hope if you don’t mind me quoting from your book. In Chapter 6 verse 23 you write: “It twas I Melanie that dos’ith carry the tablets down the mountain, twin Moses began to quarrel.” Chapter 6 verse 24: “Moses sayeth I be’ith the man, it should be I’ith to carry the tablets.” Then on Verse 27 it goes on to say: “Moses then took hold of the tablets thus breaking them into tiny weenie bits, in his clumsiness.”

Now Melanie do you realize how crazy that sounds. Do you really expect people to believe that? By the way I don’t think you have to worry about anyone stealing your jokes.

( it’s really me, Melanie ;-)~

[Melanie Stephan]

Clinton Richard Dawkins - Where does Richard, the atheist, go when he dies? It appear that Richard does not go to Hell for his book “The God Delusion”. Christians like me that are as mad as hell at him right now would like to say “You lying son of a ###”, to him. Yet God thinks of him as a pet, he holds affection for him. He is somewhat of an embarrassment, then lots of people at different times have been both atheist and Christian. Dawkins may have a delusion of grandeur but he is not mean and evil. Richard is entitled to his opinion. Richard goes to heaven but the hitch is God may be holding his book “The God Delusion” in his hands on Judgment Day. Possible painful birth?

Clues are: 1) he is born in the spring. 2) Clinton - Pres. Clinton embarrassment, Clintons Ditch,
Clinton Street is also the same street that God used to live on. 3) Daw Kins, Daw is a pet name
for David. 4) Hitch was a pet name for Richard. 5)Dawkins as in ‘Jehovah has favored’. 6) The
CodeCracker wrote : I can also get “Wank Hard” out of his name. 7) Dawkins: cross between
Darwin and Hawkins - two of the most well known scientific names? 8) The Dawkins Delusion -
written by a biochemist and Christian theologian, written as a critical response to his book “The
God delusion”.

[pete]

imo, this shit is worse than Daniel.

[Zen]

Yea Melanie ... I gotta say this sounds increasingly delusional to me. You just seem to be stringing nonsensicals together to make random points.

[Melanie Stephan]

Hi Pete, what dose imo mean? Does it mean: In my office? Also I didn't know that there is a Gay signal, did you? Melanie

[Melanie Stephan]

Melanie’s ranting continues on this site: Rocky Mountain High . Here she endlessly wanks on.